Thursday, February 5, 2009

Oilers v. Blues, Red Wings, Wild - Exodus 23:20-33

"On this road trip, I am sending an angel to guard you along the way and to bring you victory in the cities I have prepared. Pay attention to me and listen to what I say. Do not rebel against me; I will not forgive your rebellion, since my Name is in you. If you listen carefully to me and do all that I say, I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you. My angel will go ahead of you and bring you into the land of the Red Wings, Blues, and Wild, and I will wipe them out. Do not be intimidated by their players or revere their skill or copy their practices. You must demolish them and reduce their fans to tears. Worship Yahweh your God, and his blessing will be on your point shots and penalty killing. I will take away injury from among you, and no one will hit iron or feel robbed. I will give you a full life span: there will be playoffs."

"I will send my terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every team you encounter. I will make all your enemies turn away from you in fear. I will send embarrassing promotions ahead of you to shame the fans of the Red Wings, Blues and Wild before you arrive. I will not reduce them to nothing for should they become too weak the Wild would bore even themselves with their defensive schemes. Little by little your skill will outpace theirs, until you are ready to take possession of the Cup."

"I will establish your borders from Detroit to the Pacific Ocean and from Edmonton to Texas. I will hand over to you the teams who play in the Western Conference and you will drive them out before you. Do not have pity on them or ask about their gods. Do not let them have even one victory in your land, or it will be a sin against me, as loathsome as the worship of their gods."


Unleaded said...

(as though singing) Aaaaaaaaa-mmmeeeeeeeennnnnnnnn.

Icecastles said...

Yea, though I walk in the shadow of the valley of lower body injuries, I shall fear no evil.

Scott said...

Well, the only explanation for last night is that Horcoff and Gilbert have not been faithful in their covenant with Yahweh. It was a conditional promise after all.