Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Oilers v. Ducks - Judges 16:18-22

When the woman saw that he had told her everything, she sent word to Strachan, "You must trust me once more, he has told me everything." So Strachan went to Californ(ication)a with the hefty sum that he and his cohorts had promised her. She told them all about the Orbs of Power but Strachan was frustrated: "I cannot print this in a national newspaper, even if it is true! Do you think I am just some basement-loving-pygama-wearing blogger!"

Then she called in to the next room, "Pronger, the media are upon us!"
He awoke from his pregame nap and thought, "I need to give him some juicy piece of information in order to conceal this thing I have done." So he decided to follow-through with his request for a trade and he told Strachan all about it so long as he promised to wait until the season was over to report it. At this point Yahweh was angered and decided on that day to crush the hearts of Oiler fans in the Stanley Cup finals for employing such a man as this.

So the media seized upon this story after the playoffs and Oiler fans, not realizing that the sin belonged to them as much as to Pronger himself, burned his furniture and dragged his name through the mud. Oiler fans lashed out at him at every opportunity and eventually Kevin Lowe traded Pronger to a pathetic hockey market. But the punishment that Oiler fans would endure was only beginning.

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