Sunday, March 29, 2009

Oilers v. Wild - Titus 2:1-15

O MacT, you must teach your players to play sound defensive hockey. Teach the older men to stop taking so many stupid penalties so that they will be worthy of respect. They must be self-controlled. They must also remember their faith in Yahweh, their love for their teammates and the endurance they will need in order to win the Lord's Cup.

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers of God's chosen city or addicted to tanning, but to believe in what is good. Let them help the younger women to love the city and to take part in cancer fundraising, to be self-controlled and pure in speech, to be busy at their home in Edmonton and to always put the sake of the hockey team first so that no one will malign the word of our God.

Encourage the young men to be self-controlled. Sit them in the press-box if you need to, whatever the reason. In your teaching show integrity and seriousness that cannot be condemned by any player or fan, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because all of the bad they have to say about us is nothing but lies.

Make the Northwest division your slaves. You must discipline especially the accursed Wild so that they will not talk back to you, or steal points from you. Beat them handily so that, by our dominance, every game you play against them will make the teaching about God our Savior look attractive.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to the Oildrop. This grace teaches us to say "No" to puck bunnies and hefty contracts, and instead to live out self-controlled, cap-friendly careers in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope - the glorious re-appearing of the Cup of our great God and Saviour who gave himself to us to redeem us from our mediocre play and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

These are the things you must teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.


Smokin' Ray said...

... and God provides him with a goalie called Roli.

And he says,"Playeth thy Roli and winnith thy game."


Scott said...

But sadly... maybe this season is more of the Babylonian Exile and not quite the Return. We need Cyrus!